Relationship Therapy in Seattle | Online Relationship Therapy in Washington State

Couples Counseling

Reconnect and find your way back to one another.

Right now, things are hard. You feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or hopeless. You're trying to get your partner to hear you, see you, and understand what you need. You're desperate to improve things, but you're stuck repeating the same painful fights. Or do you feel like you and your partner are drifting away? Do you desire more intimacy between you and your partner?

What Healing Can Look Like

Couples not only can find solutions to their problems but are able to be in awe of each other again. They regain their closeness and intimacy, while enjoying being around each other. Couples can learn to express their needs and feelings. They no longer worry about how their partner will react. Their long-standing resentments and conflicts can seem to melt away. A long sought after sense of security, connection, and love returns.  Their shared bond feels stronger.

All couples experience moments of conflict and phases of disconnect. Couples therapy can help you rediscover a deeper and more meaningful partner bond. Recovering from trauma, infidelity, or other betrayal? Therapy can help you rebuild broken trust.

I focus on helping you both identify and break the negative cycle and develop a healthy one. I listen to what is being said and what is unsaid by both partners. My role is to serve the relationship and not take sides.

Couples Therapy helps you rise above your challenges with vulnerability. You’ll start moving forward with less fighting and more loving. You and your partner deserve the best chance at healing. 

Get back to feeling like you are a safe haven for each other again.

Frequently Asked Questions
About Couple’s Counseling in Seattle and Washington State

Have you been wondering whether to continue in your marriage/relationship? Have been trying for years to improve things on your own without much progress? Do you want to have the best relationship possible? Are you concerned that the fights you’ve been having lead you to feel more and more distant from your partner? Do you feel like the spark is gone and you feel like you’re just in a maintenance phase rather than really feeling like partners? Only you will know if it’s time for Couples Therapy or you can contact me, and we can explore if the time is right for you and your partner.

Yes!! I’m a member of the LGBTQ community and have been married for 10+ years and with my husband for more than 15 years. I primarily use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the model works well for ALL couples. It does not change based on the partners or family members. Because it focuses on what happens to each individual during times of disconnection and the cycle between partners during disconnection, it allows the therapist to focus on the relationship dynamics using the same process for each couple.

And there are some nuances that need to be attended to. The difference with LGBTQ+ clients is that most have more attachment trauma if their families and friends were not, or are not, supportive of their sexual orientation. Some LGBTQ+ clients have more shame if they were raised being told that engaging in same-sex relationships was “bad” or “wrong.” If this has occurred, the EFT model will help heal these negative beliefs and emotions through exploring history, validating the partners, and creating corrective experiences so that new beliefs and emotions will be created.

I get it. Couple’s Therapy is a big investment. Unfortunately, the answer is: it depends. I primarily utilize Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). It has a robust body of research behind it and provides a guide map for the steps and stages of the process. Research tells us that 12-20 sessions is the average length of treatment for couples receiving Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). However, this can vary widely.

Some of the factors that can contribute to a longer length of treatment include:

  • When one or both partners have experienced significant trauma.
  • Significant time spent in a negative interaction cycle
  • Complicating factors such as affairs, substance use/addiction, violence
  • Frequency and consistency of sessions
  • Willingness to participate and engage with treatment
  • Supplementing with individual treatment when recommended

The commitment of time, money, and emotional energy required to engage in couples therapy is significant. However, there is little that impacts our quality of life more than feeling like we have a safe, loving, and supportive relationship with our partner. When we can create this security in our bond, it is incredible what we are able to do from that secure base.

We will meet for the first session, then I will have one 1:1 session with each of you. Subsequent meetings will be with all of us. Ideally, we will meet weekly, but I know schedules and funds don’t always allow for this. We can be flexible within reason and if I think that progress is being made.

The best outcome will come from being open and committed to the process, and a willingness to be vulnerable. You will be asked to take a look at the ways you are contributing to the difficulties in your relationship. I will ask you to share with each other in session with my guidance. We will focus on your feelings and needs and how they are expressed.

Identifying and getting out of old patterns of reactive behavior can be uncomfortable. It means you’re experiencing something new and different. This is where growth happens. It may feel like we’re “stirring the pot”, especially if you tend to be a couple who avoids dealing with issues. My job is to serve the relationship and make the process as safe as possible. I will intervene if there is a lot of conflict happening in the session. You will be learning communication and repair skills early on, so you will know how to deal with conflict outside of sessions.

Sometimes ending the relationship can happen. It’s a part of getting more clarity about what you want, and couples sometimes decide they want to be apart. I will support you in this decision, while helping you to understand your reasons why.

While this can be frustrating, it’s still possible to impact change in your relationship by working on yourself without your partner present. Reach out to me and we can discuss if this option is right for you.

I am licensed by the State of Washington as a mental health counselor, so many of my clients are able to receive reimbursement from their insurance company or employee health spending accounts for my services as an out-of-network provider. They do this by submitting the monthly superbills I provide for reimbursement.

Because I do not bill insurance directly, I am able to provide my clients with several benefits:

  • Increased privacy of your personal health information
  • Greater flexibility of scheduling
  • The assurance that all the decisions about the duration, quality and content of your care are made only by you and me, based on what is working for you.